The Feminine is the Keeper of the Rituals: Women’s Day


The Christmas cards

The ‘thank-you’ cards

The Birthday cards

The gifts

The lists

The weddings

The births

The menus

The decorations

The dinners

The coffee mornings

the support systems

The festivals

The parties

The religious occasions

The anniversaries

The funerals

The holidays

The brunches

The lunches

The Facebook Groups

The invitations

The school performances

The Sabbath observances

The photos in frames

The soccer matches

The graduations

The baptisms, christenings, naming ceremonies and baby showers

The divine feminine in any of us keep these rituals alive.

Whoever you are and whatever you be, the feminine is the keeper of the rituals.

And in the absence of the actual female, the feminine energy kicks in to work that shit out.

I have almost no idea about the rituals in Japan, and I remain the keeper of them. Ask the questions, monitor the observances, ask my man to research what the hell it is we are supposed to be doing at what time and when in birth, death, marriage, new year, summer, winter rituals and the passing of time on anything.

I am consistently a fish out of water, working things out, like a sexy detective so we don’t miss an observance or a chance to celebrate.

These sacred activities are passed down the feminine and upheld and observed from there.


I salute every birthday card, gift, thank you card and celebratory dinner from my brother and his husband.

Every Sunday lunch, Easter egg, Christmas card, birthday card and present and so much more received from my Mother. Always in her familiar and beautiful handwriting.

Every talisman, prayer and age-related item received from my parents-in-law for my husband’s, and my, continued health and fortune.

Every man who has lost his wife and had to work out how to keep this shit together in his family and every daughter or mother or son who had to help these rituals not get lost with her.

Every occasion remembered and observed from my male friends and family.

Ritual is important. Observance is important. They keep us connected and consistent and in communion.

My husband tells me, when I return from a long trip away.

“You make this house a home”.


On this International Women’s Day I salute you who keep the rituals.

I salute the divine feminine that resides in each and every one of us.

So much love and celebration from your loving sister, Sarah

PS we are working too hard, proving to much, seeking too much approval, busying ourselves obsessively, pleasing too many people, dimming our light so hard that today, on your behalf my darling women, I took a rest. I sat on the sofa and drank tea, made nice food and ate nice fruit. I did crosswords and cheated relentlessly with relish, watched Drag gossip and wrote in my diary. I planned my schedule for tomorrow. Briefly. I left the kitchen in a mess. Drank more tea. Watched more uplifting and hilarious Celebrity Gossip and Hollywood Shade. Not a single mother funking TED talk, political podcast or inspirational, educational or aspirational item was allowed into my eyes. I listened to the rain. Had a long hot bath and a facemask. With nice smelling stuff in there. I’m still a good person, no-one came to arrest me for not working 9-5 or 10, you know just so I can prove myself. I’m off to the British Embassy tonight where I will be doing literally zero things to try and impress anyone or make them like me. I will be curious and well-mannered and of course carry my business cards darlings – I’m not mad! But it’s time. It’s time to STOP trying to be top of the class. To STOP trying to impress our parents. To STOP trying to court the approval of people. And to STOP trying to fulfil some bizarre notion of what we should have been by this age. And start to embody the lovely lovely light human beings we are. And know. Really deep down know. We are alright. If you are reading this – you are MORE THAN ALRIGHT you are no doubt a beautiful, kind, ambitious, and delightful human who has started to feel a bit tired of all the proving and expectation. Less of this and more of being. Observing your glory and loveliness. Enjoying the moment – not the award or reward you got in school or the recognition you are hoping for in the future. ENOUGH. So on this International Women’s Day. I have been doing all then resting, watching, playing, writing for fun and tea drinking for all the tired, exhausted and disappointed women AND for all the luminous women who are at peace and glowing from inside out. That’s mostly all of you doing all those things. Shine on beauties.

You’re welcome.

Sarah Furuya