Every time we say yes to things we don’t really want to do or feel obliged to do, we are saying no to things that could be filling that time. We have been programmed to feel obligations where there are none. Imagine if people could actually handle life without us saying yes to everything. But we’re usually afraid that we will be ostracized or disliked or talked about if we say no to things.
Over the years, Sarah Furuya has faced this dilemma and developed some radical ways to create boundaries, stop people pleasing, and devote her attention to the things and people she really loves. That is at the heart of this special workshop. Sarah understands how hard it is to get out of these habits. To open physical space, to open space in your diary, or to open space in your thoughts for the things, people and experiences that you are truly devoted to.
But it is possible to say no to things, clearly, gracefully, respectfully and with good manners. It takes courage, practice, coaching, scripts, techniques and trust. And kindness. And compassion. And starting to say yes to the things you really want to say yes to.
In this workshop we will learn:
How to value yourself as much as you value others (this is humility)
How to identify people pleasing behaviors and how they are different to delighting your people
Some ready-made scripts for saying no clearly with kindness and grace and to push back on persuasion
How to use your body and your intuition to make decisions and identify words that come up when you are enlisting (obligation, resentment for example)
To go easy on ourselves and realize that sometimes we might say yes to some things that aren’t a ‘hell yes’ because it might be a good idea – but hey, let’s not make a habit of it
To enlist a trusted committee of friends or practitioners to help you say no more often and more elegantly
To identify what you could be opening time up for when you say no to the things you don’t really want to do
To play out the underlying fear behind not wanting to say no. There could be a really good, benevolent reason why you do’t want to say no. Or it could be a shadow of something that happened in the past, that no longer serves you
There was a write up from FEW here.