Compassionate Leadership…
It seems impossible that already I’ve been back in Japan for three-plus weeks following four weeks in the UK.
In this mid-life tumult, there’s nothing to shake one out of complacency like extended stay with family, the reality of well, yet aging parents, which is of course amplified by living remotely from them, and watching your home country making decisions and legislation that are unsettling and upsetting. It seems that so much is shifting and changing and there are a decreasing number of optimistic things that one can rely on. Especially if you have a tender heart and and inclusive nature.
It was thus terrific luck and duly encouraging to have been invited to a Center for Compassionate Leadership seminar in London. It was refreshing to attend a coaching gathering that was focussed on compassionate leadership and the American hosts and founders acknowledged wholeheartedly the situation they find themselves in, while at the same time remaining hopeful. The people there were smart and inspiring, clear about the challenges of this era for compassionate leadership, yet strangely - I’m not sure if optimistic is the right energy, perhaps steadfast in their belief that compassionate leadership is achievable. It dislodged a tiny chunk of hope which became a catalyst for curiosity. If these experts can be tired and weary yet still hold their belief in compassionate leadership, I can find footholds too. Among the key elements I took away were:
VUCA is dead - long live BANI (more on this later)
Compassion and empathy and the differences therein
Wellbeing and re-humanising the not only the corporate space, but society; “Re-humanise, don’t dehumanise”.
Hope for cynics (by golly is this a tough one for me especially as cynicism and loss of hope are closely connected to burnout, according to a recent conversation I listened to featuring a doctor who has burned out 5 times and I cannot for the life of me remember where I listened to it.)
Islands of coherence
Everyone and everything on the planet is our stakeholder
Compassion towards oneself
The cost of empathy and the role of compassion (but empathy is still important)
Roles-routines-networks-culture
Within roles: awareness-connection-empathy-action
And how ‘lovely that’s a beautiful question’ touched me deeply and aligned with the notion of responding in way that creates value
Alleviate suffering - above all, alleviate suffering
I am thinking deeply about my experience of the Center for Compassionate Leadership and ploughing through the resources, research and papers that support their work, while mapping something more comprehensive to write. And in the meantime, focussing on the backbone of Compassionate Leadership; compassion for self. Recognizing suffering that exists within me and resolving to alleviate it. This I am doing through a programme of professional engagements - medication, talking support, and physical activity, including yoga, walking, and physiotherapy for my vastly improved knee condition.
In another professional conversation, the speaker talked of how so many people who are suffering, are just one simple intervention away from relief or even happiness. It is with this in mind I have recently intervened in my own life AGAIN. In my 20-25 year project, I owe it to my 74 year old self so she can show up full of fun, social and physical energy, and confidence, like my classmate today, whom I talk about below. I owe it to future Furuya.
What do you owe to yourself just now? Or future you? Or younger you?
Is there an intervention; medical or otherwise that could create relief or more ease for you?
Physical or emotional?
Sometimes we are just one intervention away from relief.
One simple intervention
How can we alleviate our own suffering? And I mean an easy intervention - not hard work on your part or some mindset shift - but an intervention.
God help us we can’t do this alone
During my time in England I caught up with friends, those whom I’ve known and loved for 20, 30, 40 years, visited the Leigh Bowery exhibit at Tate modern, sprinted every free gallery there, did the National Portrait Gallery, the National Gallery and the Cartier exhibit at the V&A. I now regret not having visited the Face magazine special exhibit at the Portrait Gallery - a foolish omission for a Face collector.
Of course I made the usual visit to the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool and made an impulse-pilgrimage to the Anglican cathedral - not my cathedral but a work of incredible scale and magnitude, and a lovely contemplative space. I took to popping into churches and lighting candles while I was in England. The surrounding gardens of the cathedral are impressive too - it’s been many many years since I made this trip and it was only as I was ambling through Chinatown and realised how close I was, that I made the diversion; well worth it.
I spent lots of time with family in New Brighton, London and Hastings.
Coaching, Pivot-Points and Resets
I always find these extended trips home to be pivot points (in coaching we are on the look-out for them in our timelines, how to create them, or recognise them as they are arriving) around which I reset. It doesn’t always happen instantly, the reset. It takes a little time to settle in. This time, the reset has taken about three weeks to take hold. I’ve started yoga locally - doing more local activities in community is increasingly important and I joined the over-50s class this morning. (My neighbour plays soccer for the local over-30s women’s football team, information I delight in) It was a wonderful group of four; the oldest being a very elegant and extremely talkative woman of 74. Chairs and modifications are encouraged and there is absolutely no yoga olympics. What’s more our yoga sensei uses singing bowls and gongs for about 30 minutes during the final rest and this is one helluvah sensation - having your stretched body filled with vibration. I am committed to Mondays and Wednesdays and being among the town elders is such a treat. Let’s see how we go! I haven’t followed a regular yoga regime since the legendary Yin Yoga in Hiroo days, pre-COVID.