Panremic - how are you?
How are you? Really how are you? It’s been quite the year hasn’t it as we experienced unexpected hardships, restrictions and disappointments.
Now let me be very clear - this is not a how-to post. It is not a series of suggestions or ways to do anything. This is a report of what i’ve observed these past few months. I’m sure we should stay healthy and fit where possible. And steer clear of suspicious calls to action that involve light, no masks or the idea that a healthy immune system ALONE can save you from this Corona virus.
I have been with so many people who had so many different reactions, babies were born and celebrated and maternity leave was delighted in, business tanked - my friends in the travel industry hit the hardest as guests and visitors were restricted and those who write about travel also had to change their approach. I miss my family. I wish I were going home for Christmas. Also I’m going to fully enjoy my Christmas here. All being well. Fingers crossed. Touchwood.
Some people got very very sick.
Some businesses thrived or continued as usual.
Some people lost their jobs or their work was seriously restricted.
Others still went to work and served us loyally and as their families depended on it.
Maybe that was you.
Thank you
I have seen incredible innovation, opportunity and creativity come as people pivot and look for the chances in their work and life, chances to support their community and the people they touch in life. It’s been incredibly touching and inspiring to see that and the impact it has on their community.
I’ve witnessed other people struggle to recover from the deep dark hole of despair they were thrown into as their business slowly ebbed away day by day in the spring. Heart-wrenching.
I have witnessed the loyalty of teachers, shops and restaurant workers, city hall workers, waster pick-up people, and all the people who provide service to society. The backbone of the village if you like.
I have seen friendships strengthen and morph.
Marriages build up or breakdown.
Families pull together and create moments together.
Struggles to come to terms with the reality of situations.
Government change.
Activism ignited.
Cognitive dissonance challenged and harmonised.
Shills and charlatans revealed in my own industry - this is a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary one.
Sages and sweetness also revealed in my industry and so many genuine, well-informed coaches do great work in the world without crazy calls to action or conspiracy.
Also the earth is a sphere. I asked my astrophysicist friends. They asked me to stop asking now.
It’s been fascinating to watch the range of reactions, resilience and responses to this situation; for many it has been the first time experiencing any real hardship. Certainly for myself it was the first truly huge event; although younger versions of myself had thought I had it hard, this truly was the first time I had experienced any serious restriction on my life. I mean there was that one time my Dad wouldn’t let me go to that party and BOY WAS I PISSED.
Or that one time in uni when I had spent most of my allowance and my student loan hadn’t come through and I COULDN’T GO ON THAT HOLIDAY. STOMP STOMP. Cry me a river. Even now, thankfully my Pandemic experience has been a mild one compared with so many other people. And I do not take that for granted. Oh at all. Not one bit. And that is one thing that has kept me able to keep on keeping on with optimism, gratitude, perspective and an open mind.
At this point I want to give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to my assistant Laura, who took a massive hit in the first few months of the State of Emergency that was declared. 3 boys under 10 at home ALL DAY in the house. Only allowed out for an hour or so a day and a lot of clients who rely on her - she reached her limit and dealt with it BLOODY BRILLIANTLY. I worked it through with a trusted Tokyo coach - shout out to TB! And now we are even better together! I’m proud of us getting through that one. Through the emotions, frustrations and breakdowns and the endless endless all day boys and mean neighbours who complained - that’s right complained about the kids playing out (My deepest sympathy to ANYONE with a spirit that mean). I make a deep salute to you and all the other women working from home to support their families while taking on the lion’s share of the child rearing. My God. I thank the natural order of things for making my womb a dusty barren desert. This has been a strange seaside holiday with my husband for me in comparison.
Humour, self awareness and a huge dose of reality, perspective and gratitude that there but for the grace of God go I in the first 48 years of my life, has also kept my head above water. Mostly. But not exclusively. The hum hum hum of the pandemic in the background of everything which I wrote about here in April - haha April — I was exhausted with it all then. 2 months in. It’s November. I’m fine - how are you? Also not fine. Also fine. Thank the lord
When this first broke, back in late January - I had a feeling something was very very wrong. As everyone around me; my clients, my family in the UK, friends, my husband and everyone really started to digest this I just had this little voice say to me in my head:
“You need to keep your shit together. What are you going to do? How are you going to proceed? How are you going to keep perspective? How are you going hold you lovely clients and all their successes, disappointments, peaks, disasters, love, shame, delight, guilt, dreams, and the full spectrum?”
And here’s how - pragmatic. (We’ll come to the extremely fortunate part of this later)…
1 - I have an A-team of people who get my focus.
These were, and this was in some kind of order as this download came into my head actually:
- My clients - my clients need me more than ever. I cannot lose my head and still serve my clients properly. I must remain as calm, sensible and in service of them as I am able during this time as that is my commitment to them. Thank you clients for being my guides. Always. I cherish you.
- My family - my heart belongs to them.
- Friends - focus on my closest friends and be present and available to them as they navigate and to be there for each other, loving on each other as much as possible and listening to their wisdom. This means my oldest friends in the UK and US, and my closest Japan based friends. In addition to some new people who had arisen about this time for whom we could be great company. This can change and morph. Some of it can be heartbreaking as new information enters the system, but essentially a village assembles. And changes.
2 - Decide my sources of information - stick to it. My chosen sources were:
- The Japanese Government directives
Unless I can influence it I am not going to shake my virtual fist into Facebook.
I had the uncommon pleasure of following their rules, listening to their advice and being grateful for the masks I received.
I live here. They decide things on behalf of me and the society that surrounds me at state level.
This is relaxing for me. Takes something off my plate.
- The British Government
YUP - this may be controversial but I followed the advice of the British Embassy directives and news that the Ambassador put out as laid out by the British Government combined with local directives. They are interested in keeping relationships and business moving throughout a time like this and work bloody hard at it. They are experts in this kinds of thing and I hand over my trust to them. If I have a question I will ask a question or ask my parents to ask their MP a question.
3 - Trusted Medical Sources
I just decided I am not going to be suspicious of the WHO, the CDC, the NHS or any other medical and scientific advisory.
I may take what is released in the Japanese media with a pinch of salt, but I also know that I and other people in Japan are expected to read a few layers down into the information and communication ether to glean the range of options that I am being called in to do. Japan 101. Communication is not direct. Read the nuance from all the angles. Make the most logical and community-beneficial decision. Prepare to get it wrong. But not be told. Directly. Repeat.
The above-mentioned organisations are comprised of thousands of trained medical professionals and are monitored and assessed and self managed.
I decided to believe that majority of people who worked there are ethical professionals and not part of some huge conspiracy - I mean all of them to - something something something - turn us all into Bill Gates Chimeras through a vaccine in some James Bond like Science lie global take over.
If you believe that - I really don’t want to hurt your feelings. Genuinely.
Do I think they are 100% infallible or incorruptible? No I don’t. And I choose to follow their directives anyway.
I choose not to believe James Bond-like storylines (I love James Bond) and follow the medical directives and from that place of scientific knowledge and directive, decide how much risk I’m willing to take in moving around, being in people’s homes, going restaurants and so on.
You will rarely see me in peopley public without a face mask and with every chesty twinge, I take my temperature.
Just this week I was reminding myself of mild, and harsh symptoms so I can carefully monitor what’s going on.
Relaxing.
Kinda.
Pandemic relaxing.
Panremic.
Does not work.
Much like this photo. Panremic does not work. Or maybe it does?
How did you choose to approach the Pandemic?
What ups and downs occurred for you?
What moments of loveliness happened in the face of all of this?
Now let me be very clear…
I do not underestimate how different my experience here has been to other people’s.
I live a short walk from the sea.
I live in the hills.
I live within a walk from a number of hiking courses.
I live in a house with one other adult.
We love each other and are very good at being together.
We like each other.
We have weeks where we are total dicks to one another.
We apologise and make requests and move on.
We are both open to influence.
We enjoy being together.
We work around each other.
We have savings and income that allowed him to leave his job mid-state-of-emergency.
We are ultra lucky in that regard.
I am incredibly grateful for this.
As luck would have it we made this move 2 months before the pandemic hit.
We are outside the city, near the sea in a not-too-densely populated area, so far lower risk.
As luck would have it I transitioned my business 90% online a couple of years ago.
So I am extremely aware of the luck and privilege that have allowed me to be pragmatic, optimistic and forward facing during this time.
And I never ever take it for granted.
And never ever take you for granted.
Life isn’t perfect but it is littered with delight and opportunity - especially when you have been born and raised into families who set you up for success and you have been fortunate enough to run with that.
What do you need to move forward? Recover? Climb higher? Dream high? Hold your low dream?
What do you need?
Be in touch.
Take care.
Be in love.
With this strange and beautiful life and all its inherent unpredictability, all its grief and glory.
Go easy on yourself and your expectations.
If you feel the low dream taking you.
I can hold that for you.
And keep dreaming high.
I can hold that for you.
Love.
Panremic (It really really doesn’t work)
