blossom and dandelions
Slow mornings - just me on my deck saying hi to the neighbours. Konnichiwa!
April is blossoming and so is sadness,
Collective Grief hangs in the air - no matter your political affiliation or stance, collective grief is felt by the collective and there is so much uncertainty and shifting. I notice in personal lives, in the collective and especially for those of us who live outside local contexts, or who cross international norms. But also in general - the peace and stability we came to take for granted is being upended in many ways and my lifestyle isn’t entirely different, but the systemic waves and the pressure on my status are felt keenly, like an app that is creating drag on my phone but I have no control over the updates. Do I need a new phone? Does my OS support the latest updates? Some operating systems update automatically - like the seasons different every year. Sometimes the Mimosa and the Cherry Blossom at the end of my street blossom at the same time. This year, the Mimosa was long since gone when the cherry blossom bloomed, still in blom now.
And so, I’m taking my tea on the deck in the mornings - soaking up the early morning rays and not taking out my phone. I notice many things - a bump in in the concrete reinforcements in the hill - were they concreting around a rock? A tree root?
A dandelion seed floats past. I wonder where it will settle. I like that metaphor, like my ideas or my notions are like seeds catching the wind, floating by catching winds and finding their way into cracks in the pavement, a building site or one of my plant pots on the deck. Or like fortune finding me. I like remembering fairytale images that have pixies floating with the dandelion clocks like little umbrellas. One way or the other, these magical little seeds are evocative of so many thing - coaching metaphors, supernatural stories, evolution and the resilience of things.
The Broccoli has flowered and is about to go to seed - I decided to cut it down for a bouquet for the table, but then hear bees feeding from it so I move it closer to the patio window so I can watch the bees from the sofa. The snapdragons are dying off - I’ve repotted some of the plants that look dead, but might stir to life. I have empty pots, I plan to see what wants to enter them. I have ideas. What am I going to sow? Every single year I panic in February that everything has died. Every single year I have to remoind myself that this happens every single year. I think there’s something humble about panic - reminding us of our human fragility, of our part in nature, of vigilance and of tending to the world of plants,
When I feel overwhelmed in the material world, I look to these places for relief and distraction.
I asked Mary, my intern yesterday on our weekly catch up call, should I book therapy or a spirity session? I’ve been feeling a bit like I have too many apps open that need updating but the OS also needs updating and maybe the phone storage is full and maybe we need an upgraded model - I’m talking about me, my body, mind and spirit of course. So therapy or a spirity session? I like to tap her therapy expertise, shes studying for a degree in Human Services so has real smarts to bring to the table beyond option.
We had a conversation, the detail of which is ours, but we also established that sometimes, we need a spirity distraction. Therapy calls us to get very real - the spirity sessions can be a soft, light-touch way to shift things around, to get some relief, and to distract away from things we know we need to do that we already know and that therapy will most certainly shine a light on.
In the Lighthouse Grief Circle we muse on a process ritual called AND when we are resourcing and taking refuge around our grief:
Acknowledge the way we are feeling and let that be. GIve it attention and compassion.
Nurture - how can we give ourselves some very simple and easy nurturing - as simple as rubbing handcream tenderly into our hands.
Distract - do we need to distract ourselves from the white hot eye of the storm of our grief so we can simply manage the next few minutes or hours?
That’s how I feel sometimes, like I need a distraction from the intense feelings and thoughts I have - not to work on them but to allow someone to do something in the ethereal world, to offer a little relief.
Same in coaching sessions - sometimes people show up in a way where we aren’t going to do work, work on goals or intention, but we are going to bring some gentleness and essence to the session. Perhaps a little distraction away from the intensity of life - it could be as simple as turning away from the the executive matters of a job transition conversation and talking about what hobbies and interests a client loves and the what they feel when they do them.
I wrote in my local coffee shop today - Ginger Beach Inn. They do second and third drinks at half price. I write in there and drink delicious lattes between yoga and coaching sessions. I have come to know the owner. I love knowing the local shops - I want ot live my life in my village, my town, my area - not feel like a tourist passing through.
World events are deeply upsetting and I find myself thankful for the life I’ve been able to lead so far. I continue to beaver away in my world work - much of it unseen but have become increasingly convinced that being together in-person and creating, making and conversing in the real world is so important. I have gathered with loved ones recently. My twice-weekly yoga is extremely important, it’s local and that is very important to me; to be in communion on the land near to me with neighbours and local merchants. I’m seeking to be engaged in my communities - my neighbours, my local coffee shops and cafes, the land, the people who live in my surroundings. Community reaches far beyond wonderful places like FEW or BCCJ, organisations I am happy to be part of, and community I feel must exist in our physical surroundings, I have always been neighbourly, engaged and friendly, no matter how burned out, overwhelmed or shy I have been feeling. I keep musing on community. My impulse to cocoon must be overcome. I humble myself to relationships. The couple next door but one, a European guy and a Japanese woman, also sit out on their deck. The Japanese families in the hood play noisily outside - I love that.
You never know what’s around the corner so being engaged with people who care is crucial for everyone. Taking care of each other, offering and asking for what you need. Being present and interactive - it’s not just about parties and invites, it’s largely about mundane matters. Tokyo can be transactional - that‘s a given, so establishing long and committed relationships and taking care of your own and others is very important. And giving people grace, including oneself is essential for a satisfied life. Also folding professionals in to help. Creators, coaches, therapists will all help navigate the challenges of relationship groups. I recently re-joined the British Chamber of Commerce. I remain supportive and active in FEW Japan. My writer’s group friends gathered under the blossoms last week and it is calling me to get writing again those groups somehow open a portal to entire worlds for me, that it is harder for me to access otherwise. A client visited from Europe and we drank coffee and chatted sincerely for some hours. Sauner & Frolic grows and provides fun and deep conversation.
Spring has entered and it’s that part of the seasonal flow where clothes choice is key! Too hot, too cold, it’s sunny, it’s raining - I LOVE IT! I love the April showers, I love the bright sunshine and the clouds. I love as the blossom wanes and the fresh green comes comes in. The birdsong is fierce this time of year and the sheer number of birds I see at this time of year is a beautiful thing.
These musings on humanity, I hope are useful in some way to you as they are to me. I could attempt to make it useful - sharp, marketing ready and filled with value for my reader - but I trust you to lift what you need from it, and it’s just nice to write for writing’s sake - not every line needs to pack a tasty coaching-info-nugget. I do not want to intanfilise my readers by serving uniform content - that’s fine but in the world of humans, I’m sure we can all play together in this imperfect style. Much of what I write remains in notebooks - just lingering around in the ether - a way for me to communicate with creating for creations sake. I could ask AI to make this missive more readable and to pack a value punch, and sometimes I do, but today I feel like leaving as is - full of humanity and contemplation and ways to lead a life.
There are many ways to lead a life.
Ordinary Magic writers reading in the park