My First Retreat Experience
Spiritual Beginnings at Dehon House
The first retreat I ever went on was a religious retreat to Dehon House.
Every year there was a retreat for the kids in 4th year seniors out into rural Cheshire to experience the more spiritual side of Catholicism. It sounds sketchy AF knowing what we now know about the Catholic Church, yet I never experienced anything. Perhaps I was simply not to the priest's tastes. Perhaps I gave a really fuck off kind of vibe. Perhaps I read like someone who definitely wasn't keeping your weird adult secrets. Sweet Jesus I'm sorry for the people who were victims of the Catholic Church. I digress.
The retreat was lovely and it was a mixed group of many people from the same year group of 330 pupils. So you got to know people outside of your normal class and friend gang, as we had to create groups and make dramas and skits and do group activity together. We also did 1:1 things.
We got to know one another and ourselves through really positive conversations and I suppose prayer and such.
Things I remember were, the teachers knew that many of us smoked and in order to not make that a problem or I suppose a fire hazard, we were allowed to smoke in the common room along with the smoker teachers. That was interesting and I really love that they not only allowed that but that they had such deep respect for the young adult's needs. It's logical, not restrictive.
There was a room called the Pax Room; Peace Room. It had red carpet and cushions everywhere and we were encouraged to go there any time of the day for quiet contemplation. Someone from another class sat with me and told me they thought they were pregnant in the Pax room. I listened and asked her about it. She was curious she said, and on reflection with startling maturity, said but curiosity killed the cat.
I vaguely remember the dormitory where we were staying and the faces around me. It was such a brilliant opportunity to get to know other people. The songs that accompanied this retreat were French Kissin' by Deborah Harry, Don't Give Up by Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel, and Break Out by Swing Out Sister.
It really was peaceful, exciting and human. I felt like I belonged and got to hang out with and forge lasting relationships with people outside my friend group. It was not expensive or privileged- I went to a Catholic state school - at one time the largest Catholic comprehensive in Europe with almost 2,000 pupils but by the time I got there it was 1,800. It truly was an opportunity to be in communion with people in a way that was out of the ordinary and I suppose to experience Catholicism and one another in a more spiritual and communal way.
My brother left for Dehon House 2 years later but swiftly arrived back on our doorstep the same day. "What are you doing here?" When I answered the door to him and his best mate who had the most mischievous and menacing grins on their faces. They had been caught with alcohol - a step too far on the cool-teacher-accepted-behaviours. They burst in the house and regaled me with tales of how they had been called into the office and were confronted with what they described as a full bar of confiscated alcohol. Blue Nun I should imagine (see what I did there?).
I was laughing hysterically as they recounted this until I remembered we had parents. 'Mum will be home soon'. His best mate bolted and I went upstairs, turned on music, closed my door and waited as many fans were assembled around one helluva lot of shit. Put it this way, the ceiling vibrated once one of the parents arrived home.
[Interestingly my Uncle was a Brother with the De La Salle Brothers, based in Kintbury at a place called St Cassians, and then Oxford (with deep connections to Tolkein but that’s another story for another day). He set up, along with his Priest companion, Father Damian Lundy, a retreat for youth in Kintubury and I recently went on a lovely Google rabbit hole finding out more about this place.
“St. Cassian’s is a safe and welcoming place for young people, where they can take time to reflect on their lives, with Christ as their Guide and St. John Baptist de la Salle as their inspiration”.]
That retreat at school didn't have me join a new gang but it did mean friendships flourished outside of my usual group and strengthened or altered already strong relationships. I remember feeling different after this experience - fortified, faithful and more adult somehow.
What impact have retreats had for you?
